Well hello there, everybody. Long time no speak. I sincerely apologise for the radio silence, I’ve been busy drowning in a pit of my own despair, so haven’t had too much time to be throwing witty barbs at cancer.
Learning by osmosis.
However, yesterday, I found myself alone in the flat on a particularly gloomy day on which my dissertation was being particularly uncooperative. If only there was something I could do to make myself feel instantly happier, instantly more energised and instantly better about myself…
I could do some exercise! Maybe a little bit of Race for Life training was just what I needed to pull myself out of my dissertation slump and get refocused! Yeah! Woo!
So, I downloaded the Race for Life Joggers Training Plan – I know, I know, I’m nothing if not an optimist.
I put on some kickass music.
The trainers finally got some action.
And I did me some exercise! Since I’m a massive slob, I decided that I really did need to start from the beginning, so followed the nice lady’s instructions and alternated 3 minutes walking and 2 minutes jogging for 20 minutes. Mortifyingly, I actually got quite out of breath. I should also point out that I was jogging around my living room, so god help me when I move outside! Yes, feel free to picture that and laugh, I do cut a fairly hilarious figure.
I decided to finish up my training sesh (I say sesh now) with a cancer slam, just in case cancer thought I was going soft. The song came to an end and I struck a triumphant pose along with the dollies on the screen.
At precisely that moment, there was a knock on my door. I nearly fell over in my haste to remove myself from my triumphant pose. God forbid my flatmates should catch me doing something so horribly embarrassing as training for the 5k I’m going to run. I started to walk towards the door, when suddenly I had an even more horrifying thought. What if it was my downstairs neighbour, coming to give me a telling off for making such a racket. Oh dear.
Of course, my worries, as per usual, were unfounded. At the door was a nice man from Asda, delivering my shopping. I set the bags down in the hall and stopped to have a think. Let’s scroll back up to that training plan and have a look at what the nice lady is saying. For those of you too lazy to scroll, she’s saying that you should always stretch after your workouts. In fact, this reminder is repeated multiple times in the training section of the Race for Life website. But on the other hand, I had shopping that needed to go in the fridge.
I’ll just quickly put my shopping away, and then I’ll do my stretches afterwards. The things we tell ourselves, eh?
After I put my shopping away, I was feeling pretty good. I wasn’t out of breath anymore and I felt much more awake than I did before the training. I certainly wasn’t feeling sore or tight. Do we see where this is going? I, Fiona, the girl who is so unfit that she has to train in her living room before she feels okay going outside, decided that I didn’t need to stretch.
And so, this morning, somewhat inevitably, I woke up with very sore legs.
My legs are sore from doing 20 minutes of exercise, only 8 minutes of which actually consisted of jogging. I am the worst Race for Life candidate ever.
BUT, on the plus side, I have just over eight weeks to go until Race Day. Meaning that I have started training two weeks earlier than I have to, according to nice Race for Life training plan lady. If I can’t get fit in eight weeks, then I feel there really is no hope for me. Encouragement and donations are very, very much appreciated, god knows, I’ve got a long way to go.