An Ode to Cancer

Today, folks, we have  an entry that I wish I could take credit for, but just can’t. My dad, Paisley’s answer to big Rabbie, our very own bard, has penned an ode to cancer. I think it’s incredible, but don’t take my word for it. Here are his “poetic ramblings”.

You gleekit, gormless spineless beast
On our proud human race you choose to feast
By squatting in our bodies deep
And invading our organs you cowardice creep
You’ve taken mothers, daughters, brothers
Fathers, friends and life long lovers
You are probably smirking in all your glory
But you really are a pitiful story
But there’s no pity here just a heartfelt warning
That very soon we will reduce our mourning
And cherish the moment and raise a glass
As we rid the world of your presence so crass
The legions of pink with smiles on their faces
Stick 2 fingers up as they run their races
With memories so rich and the greatest desire
To ensure that your existence will soon expire
No greater pride, no greater thrill
Than the committed army in that east coast chill
As they stride to remember those now parted
And commit to end this quest we’ve started
So smirk and smile you scourge of man
And enjoy your false glory while you can
Don’t shed a tear down your monstrous face
As you realise this is your final race
We’ve got you cornered, your race is run
As we unite to finish what we’ve begun
So to the pink brigade I raise a glass
To the defeat of this cancerous pompous ass

And he did a lot more than just raise a glass. He also kickstarted our weekend donation drive* with a frankly ridiculous donation of £50. 

Is somebody cutting, like, millions of onions?

I don’t even really know what to say to that, except that I love you, dad. So much. And I hope you know that I’d do anything to make you proud. Someday, we will beat cancer.

*This weekend, in honour of International Women’s Day and Mothers’ Day, we are aiming to raise £100 by midnight on Sunday. Help us out here!