Triple Threat

Guys, I exist in a black pit of despair. I live in fear of a cruel, unrelenting master called “Dissertation”. Seriously. I’m coming out in hives.

(Thanks for that by the way, body. What I really needed to make me less stressed was for my entire body to be itchy all of the time.)

This is a visual representation of my life right now:

But yesterday, something wonderful happened. Something so very exciting that it made me feel like this:

And then, because I don’t get to have any fun now, like this:

Are you ready for this? It’s a pretty big deal. Sister Act has gained itself a new member.

BAM!

This is Lauren. Stop licking your screens everyone, I regret to inform you that she is very much taken by my big brother. (Although, to be fair, you could probably take him).

And Lauren has agreed, as honorary big sister, to run the Race with us in May! Pause for tiny party.

Damn photobooth making everything backwards.

ANYWAY. We are absolutely delighted that she’s decided to run with us, although admittedly, this does cause us a teeny tiny bit of a problem. You see, Lauren, like the rest of us, enjoys cheeky little treats every now and then.

BUT, for Lauren, these are treats, as opposed to an actual lifestyle choice (looking at you, Fiona). She happens to be a bit of a health bunny. She’s one of those amazing people who actually enjoys exercise (Bleuch). In fact, she’s so great at netball that this one time, the Looney Tunes made a deal that if these little aliens could beat them at netball, then they would have to go back to their planet and be slaves. THEN the aliens absorbed all the power from the Kelvin netball team and got amazing. And their only hope was to get Lauren to step in and win the game for them.* She is also running four 10ks in May, just for lols.

So. Me and Sophie have quite a little bit of catching up to do, running wise. It’s gonna be interesting.

We are so excited to have her running with us, and feel like she’s a great addition to the team, since she’s probably going to singlehandedly beat cancer into the ground. At which point we can step in and steal all the credit. Great success.

Welcome to the team, Lauren! With this triple threat on its ass, cancer doesn’t have a hope.

(Also, check out that sexy total. Almost halfway to target number one!)

*This may bear some resemblance to the plot of Space Jam, but I swear, totally true story. I was there. I was the little fat guy who shows up and gets immediately squashed by an alien.

Advertisements