Hands Off Our Mothers

So. It would appear that I have something in common with Taylor Swift, other than a penchant for pillarbox red lipsticks. Only this is one similarity I wouldn’t wish on anyone. A couple of days ago, Taylor announced to her fans that she is joining the long list of girls who have had their mums sit them down and tell them that she has cancer. Because when it comes to this one thing, cancer doesn’t care if you’re a famous popstar. It doesn’t care if you’re only sixteen years old. It doesn’t care if your sister is eleven.

Cancer comes after us and our mums regardless.

I talk a lot about how brave and kickass and awesome my mum is, but the truth is, cancer doesn’t care about that. My mum’s courage shone through throughout her sickness, her treatment, her recovery and the balls-to-the-wall manner in which she has lived her life since. But that didn’t keep her alive. We talk about fighting cancer, as if it can be beaten through sheer force of will. But the truth is, cancer doesn’t care how hard we fight. Men and women who are just as brave and who fight just as hard as my mum did are stolen from us every single day by cancer. Every day, more mums have to sit their kids down and tell them that they have cancer. Every day, more kids lose their mums.

This is not okay.

But cancer doesn’t care.

The truth is, there is only one reason that I got to keep my mum. There is only one way to beat this. And that’s research. Research funded by organisations like Cancer Research UK means that every day we take a step closer to beating this particular bad guy for good. Every day, we learn more about this disease that walks into our lives and takes away the people most dear to us. Cancer survival rates in the UK have doubled in the last 40 years. We are beating this. But we need your help. There’s only one way to beat cancer. Donate here: https://www.justgiving.com/sister-act-iv/


One Is The Loneliest Number

Oh hey guys! Apologies for the complete lack of updates, in my head it’s still definitely February. Wasn’t Christmas like five minutes ago?


Today marks just one month until Sister Act’s fourth Race for Life!

Having the best time with my little notepads.

Having the best time with my little notepads.

How exciting! I’ve booked my flights home and everything.

Unfortunately, the rest of my team are sort of…not in the team yet.

Team photo!

Team photo!

So lonely I had to selfie my team photo. But it doesn’t matter, I’ll fight this fight, I’m pretty tough. Don’t know if you guys had noticed.

Chuck Norris has nightmares about me.

Chuck Norris has nightmares about me.

Yeah, who needs a team when you have fists of steel and flattering sunset lighting!

But wait…if I don’t have a team, do I still get to be group leader?


Will they take my group leader badge back?


No, that’s totally unacceptable. Team, get signed up. General public, if you see my team, please feel free to harass them in the street.

I’m super excited for this year’s race, despite my seemingly hands off approach. It just means that I’ll be fitting a full year’s worth of hassling into this next month. So enjoy that, Facebook friends.

You can support the Sister Act team and make our total so awesome that everyone in the world will want to join our group here: https://www.justgiving.com/sister-act-iv/

Sister Act: the Homecoming

Don’t stop, never give up, hold your head high and reach the top. Let the world see what you have got, bring it on back to GLASGOW.

For those of you asking “Is it that time of year already?”, HELL YES IT IS.

That’s right, the Sister Act ladies are back with a vengeance.

Well…sort of. As of right now, the Sister Act team looks like this:


But I’m hoping that soon, everyone else will sign the heck up and it’ll look like this:


And it will be excellent.

If you’re joining the Sister Act story for the first time, hey there! Pull up a chair, it’s a lot of fun. Well, the start wasn’t so fun.

Our story started with a mum and two daughters. I was sixteen. Sophie was eleven. My mum was sick. This sucked. A lot. I have basically never been so afraid in my entire life. And I was scared for a long time. And then my mum got better. And I got really, really angry.

Sophie and I have spent the past four years taking out our anger on cancer in a multitude of ways, including but not limited to baring our souls on the internet, harassing famous comic book writers, roping every woman we know into our team, getting in the papers, taking up internships, dancing 20km and raising over £3000. Awesome.


Over Christmas, I got a pretty exciting email from JustGiving to let me know that last year, our page was in the top 5% of JustGiving pages. That was excellent. So do you know what we’re going to do with that amazing, inspiring total? CRUSH IT INTO THE GROUND, OF COURSE.

This year is going to be our biggest and best yet, with new targets, hopefully new members and maybe even a couple of surprises! So sit back, stay tuned and enjoy.

Cancer, we’re coming to get you.

If you want to donate, head on over to https://www.justgiving.com/sister-act-iv. Who will be our first? 

The Selfie Revolution

As you all know, I spend my every waking moment figuring out how to raise millions of pounds almost immediately for Cancer Research UK. So the whole “no makeup selfie” certainly didn’t pass me by. Today, ladies and gentlemen, for your entertainment and monies, I would like to present my list of potential successors to the no makeup selfie throne.

The Fully Made Up Selfie

Is that just an ordinary selfie?

Is that just an ordinary selfie?

The No Neck Selfie


The No Head Selfie

Never fear, this is simply an advanced optical illusion. No Fionas were hurt in the making of this photograph.

Never fear, this is simply an advanced optical illusion. No Fionas were hurt in the making of this photograph.

The No Hands Selfie

I know, I know, I'm a big show off.

I know, I know, I’m a big show off. The link on the sign is here.

The Abstract Selfie

What a poser.

What a poser.

The Football Shirt Friday Selfie


This is totally wasn’t my idea. To find out about Football Shirt Friday and how it’s supporting the Bobby Moore Fund, click here or check out #footballshirtfriday on Twitter.

The SomeoneElsie

I just really wanted everyone to see this photograph again.

I just really wanted everyone to see this photograph again.

I know what you’re thinking. Whoa, stop goofing around Fiona, and tell us more about that AMAZING t-shirt that abstract Fiona is wearing. That’s right folks, the Race for Life tees are in the building. And in case you’re wondering if it’s just abstract Fiona’s natural (heh heh) beauty that’s making it look so good, it’s not. They really are this awesome. Check it out.





Look at those guys. Aren’t they the greatest? This year’s campaign is shaping up pretty well, we’re already a quarter of the way to target numero uno.

Snip20140411_1But there’s no time to lose this year guys. Our race is only 23 DAYS away. Let’s show cancer that it can’t push us around anymore. Visit http://www.justgiving.com/sister-act-iii, or text “SOFI51” followed by your donation amount to 70070.


And The Money Kept Rolling In

So. You know how usually, I’m like, oh hey, take your time donating, we aren’t racing for like three months, just chill and enjoy the blog for now…?

This year really isn’t like that. I’m afraid it’s time…for the return of the serious face.

My serious face has improved not one bit since last year.

My serious face has improved not one bit since last year.

Okay, is everyone feeling nice and serious? Today marks just ONE MONTH until our Race for Life, so get those donations in!



I wish I looked more like puss in boots.

I wish I looked more like puss in boots.

This year, it’s gonna be a lighting round of fundraising. I will be the Usain Bolt of the Cancer Research world. And we’re off to an excellent start. This week, we’ve gotten our first few donations (big shout out to Eleanor, Janine, Grainne and my rather wonderful dad), and we’ve managed to recruit a few more laydeez for the Sister Act team.


This is Helen. She is every bit as excellent as this picture suggests. I once headbutted her in the face and cracked her cheekbone during an overcommitted dance move. She still wants to join my Race for Life team – that’s how lovely she is.


This is Nicola. You can pet her if you like, but be warned, she’s either gonna lick you or beat you up, depending on how she’s feeling. We’ve been besties since we looked like this:

She's probably gonna batter me for that.

She’s probably gonna batter me for that.

And finally, the big one. Oh my lord I am so excited. ladies and gents, I’m delighted to announce that after two years, Sister Act’s guest of honour has appeared at last. That’s right, MY MUM is running with us.


So much success. I am beyond happy. This is how I feel right now:

IMG_2632And as if all this wasn’t awesome enough, look what just fell through my letterbox:



IMG_2627You guuuys, stop that, you’re making me blush.

IMG_2634And here, as promised by that very charming envelope is my mega sexy Group Leader badge.

IMG_2640You feel that? That’s animal magnetism. In fact, I think next time I’m going on a date with Niall, I’ll dress entirely in Race for Life paraphernalia.

Me at my most desirable.

Me at my most desirable.

So get those donations flowing in folks, and get in touch if there’s any specific way I can humiliate myself on the internet for your moniez.




The Return of the Jedi

Guess who’s back?
Back again.
Sister Act.
Tell a friend.
Guess who’s back, Sister Act, guess who’s back, guess who’s back.
Nanana, nanana.


Ohhhh yes, the cancer kicking sisters are back! Let’s hear a “hell yeah!”

It’s been two years since Sophie and I first decided that we were gonna hit cancer back for trying to take our mum off us, and it’s been a pretty crazy ride.

We’ve raised over £2000 for Cancer Research UK, had our story featured on the Race for Life blog, and…er…this happened…

Paisley Daily Express - p3 June 7 2013

And this year, we’re back, bigger and better than ever before! I’m sure those of you who have followed our campaign from the start remember my joy when our duo became a triple threat last year.

Well. Have we got news for you. So far this year, there are six members of the Sister Act race team. I know. I’m beside myself.

Mothers’ Day is a most excellent day to be announcing the start of this year’s fundraising, because this year, it’s all about the mothers.

A lot of you already know mine and Sophie’s story, so I won’t go back through it again (if you don’t, click right here and here to read all about it).

Before you all get excited, no, our mother will not be joining the Race. She’s on holiday. Again. Shaaaame.

But her mother will be joining us.

Yes, that is my granny Rosie on Sophie's back. Yes, she is 65 years old. You can't handle the awesome.

Yes, that is my granny Rosie on Sophie’s back. Yes, she is 65 years old. You can’t handle the awesome.

And my second mother, the woman who helped raise me to be the raving lunatic you see before you, my utterly epic Auntie Kathleen will also be joining us.

BOOM. Jack is getting a lot of honourable appearances in this post.

BOOM. Jack is getting a lot of honourable appearances in this post.


Also entering the Sister Act fold this year, can we get a big round of applause for the glorious, the delectable, the entirely unstoppable not-so-wicked-stepmother, and her adorable little sidekick.

Yes, they are both Racing. No, you may not pet them.

Yes, they are both Racing. No, you may not pet them.

This is the third Longmuir sister, by the way. The whole gang is finally coming together to beat the hell out of cancer.

Guys, I am so excited I cannot even deal. My entire head is like a tiny party right now. Cancer, you picked a fight with the wrong family. You really messed up. Sister Act is coming for you. And this time, there’s a whole lot of us. Ladies and gentlemen, say hello to Sister Act: the Gathering.


Cancer. We Came. We Got You.

Well, that was that.

Our Race for Life journey has ended for another year. We absolutely skelped last year, both in terms of running time and total raised. Lauren, the little star that she is, managed the 5k in just 24 minutes, beating her previous personal best by a whopping 4 minutes. Me and Sophie came a little behind in a not-totally-embarrassing 35 minutes.

But the money. Oh the money. You guys are genuinely, completely unbelievable. This time yesterday, I was worrying that we might not meet our target of £750. As it currently stands, we have raised £1030. You really were all hanging on until the last minute, but by God I love you! This is an unbelievable amount of money to have raised, and you guys are the ones who did it. My bit was easy. You are the superstars. And from the bottom of my heart, thank you so, so much. If you hung on so long that you actually forgot the Race was today and haven’t yet donated, head on over to http://www.raceforlifesponsorme.org/sister-act-ii.

You are heroes. Every single one of you. And I can’t tell you how much it means to me that you’ve supported us on this journey. Cancer, that’s what you get for messing with my Mum.

Until next year, folks, it’s been a blast.

Fiona x

Flower Lulz Back signs Team lauren running High 5 RFL Team IMG_0244 IMG_0245 IMG_0248 IMG_0259